Battling cancer is one of the most difficult things that a person can do. This horrific disease has a major impact on the patients’ lives, not only their physical and emotional state but also their relationship with other people, and the way they see and perceive the world and themselves.
Support from friends and family is crucial in this heartbreaking situation.
The treatment for cancer, chemotherapy has improved in recent years, giving a better fighting chance. Yet, it’s not without side effects.
A well-known and visible side effect is hair loss. Although it may seem like the smallest concern of a cancer patient, hair loss, especially for women can affect a lot their self-esteem and the way they are perceived by others.
We reached out to 40 therapists and psychologists and asked them to share their opinions on this topic. The question was:
What is the best way to feel confident in your body and in your partner while battling cancer?
We asked the experts to refer to women who deal with the side effects of chemotherapy (like losing their hair) and how that impacts their relationships with their life partner and their self-esteem. Keep reading to see what they had to say.
Jill Savage
My husband and I are marriage coaches and I am a breast cancer survivor who went through chemo. Here are my suggestions:
Prepare yourself mentally for what will happen with hair loss. You not only lose the hair on your head, but also your eyebrows, underarms, legs, and even pubic hair.
I wasn’t prepared for that at all and it caught me by surprise as I had only thought about losing the hair on my head. The more you understand the realities, the better it can help you both emotionally.
My husband shaved his head in solidarity. I was grateful for his willingness to do that. (He then teased me that I put a wig on while he continued to go bald.) This action let me know that I wasn’t alone.
We moved lovemaking to nighttime for a season. This helped me feel less self-conscious.
Find things that help you accommodate the hair loss—a good wig, a pretty head wrap, a comfortable bamboo beanie, big earrings (if you decide to embrace the bald look).
Remind yourself that this is not forever. It’s now been nine years since my season of chemotherapy treatment. I’m cancer free and my hair has returned to what it was before. This too shall pass.
Dr. Paulette Sherman
I had triple negative breast cancer with chemotherapy and radiation and lost my hair for a year.
As a dating coach and marital therapist, I have had Friday date nights with my husband for 18 years. Even though I was bald and lost all my hair and eyebrows and my toe nails were falling off, we continued to go out.
Sometimes I’d use liquid eyeliner and wear long earrings and it made me feel like an Egyptian priestess. It often felt too hot to wear a wig.
To feel beautiful and remind me of my spiritual journey I had someone do a henna crown on my bald head for a few weeks of a labyrinth.This reminded me I’d go on this winding path and end up in my center and that is the heroines path.
The experience also reminded me of my inner beauty and how that’s more powerful than outer vanity. I knew my husband still loved me and our connection went deeper than looks.
Some ways women can work on their confidence are to wear makeup, still dress up and go out, still love themselves and know they are sexy with or without hair.
They can do tapping (EFT YouTube videos) on self-esteem and confidence and can say affirmations about their beauty and worth. They can ask their partner to reassure them they are still beautiful and allow themselves to be held etc.
Many couples seek counseling because the stress levels and divorce rate is very high when one partner has a serious illness so communication and teamwork is very important too.
Rebeccah Silence
As a cancer survivor and as a coach to people going through a cancer journey, it’s essential to befriend, love, and partner with your body. Your body will guide you in what is right for you and your healing.
People are not statistics. We each heal differently but when it comes to cancer we must end any war that we have been in with our bodies. It’s also critical that you don’t identify as sick or dying.
See yourself as a miracle that has the power, capacity, and capability to heal, even the seemingly impossible.
Your body is talking 100% of the time. Listen. Honor your body. Give it what it’s asking for whether it’s rest, holistic healing, nutrition, sleep, water, relaxation, or whatever else it’s telling you it needs.
Your body isn’t the problem when it comes to cancer, it’s the solution. It wants to heal. It can heal. You haven’t caused cancer, but you and your body, together, can heal cancer.
See cancer as an opportunity to begin the greatest love affair of your life with yourself and your precious and gorgeous body.
I was diagnosed with cancer while I was 7 months pregnant. I was told to prepare my will and that my odds of beating stage 3 melanoma were slim.
I decided that I would live like I was going to live, dying wasn’t an option even though I knew that could be how the story ended. But not if I could help it.
Live, even while you face cancer and the physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental pain that goes along with cancer. Let cancer become the beginning of your story.
Let cancer allow you to finally own your power and the power that lives in your body. There is life on the other side of cancer if you will be brave enough to live like you are going to live, in the perfect body that you have.
What is the best way to feel confident in your partnership while battling cancer?
The first relationship that gets impacted by cancer is the one with yourself. When I was going through chemo I ended up losing some of my hair and losing the use of my right leg.
Even worse than the physical issues, pain, and side effects from the chemo, was the loss of who I thought I was. I was no longer a successful mother, wife, business owner, community leader, sister, daughter, friend, athlete, or powerhouse.
All of the ways that I had been measuring success went out the window and I remember saying to myself, who are you going to be now? It’s easy to be your best when you’re living the life of your dreams, but who are you going to be now?
I decided to be someone who loved, honored, and respected myself, not because of what I could do or had done, but because I was still alive and had so much life left. My self worth has never been stronger, thanks to cancer.
My relationship with my husband grew and transformed beyond belief in the face of cancer. I was so worried about him seeing me differently, him not being able to handle what was happening, and I was terrified I would lose him because of this diagnosis.
My fears were so false. While it was terribly difficult to have to face each other in our darkest hour, he was going through cancer too.
We were honest about how we felt, what we needed, what our fears were, and what we thought the solutions could be.
Anyone out there wanting tips on how to keep your relationships strong during cancer just start by being honest with yourself and with the people you love. You don’t need to make it better for them.
You need to know you were real and that you gave those who love you a chance to show up and support you. And the friends that ghost you, they were never your friends.
You will get to see who is really worthy of being close to you in the face of cancer because those are the people by your side, not making it about them, making it about being there for you and your relationship.
Live changes forever because of cancer but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can’t stop cancer, but you can love your body, yourself, and those closest to you with all you’ve got trusting that you will get to the other side.
Believe you can. Or, suffer. You’ve been through enough. Meet the best of you and live as the best of you and after cancer, you truly become unstoppable.
Stephanie McLeod-Estevez – Creative Transformations
Cancer is so much more than a medical problem, it impacts every aspect of your life- your body, your mind, your spirit, and your identity.
Cancer tests your relationships in ways that you could have never predicted, putting a lot of pressure on you and the people you love.
When you’re in the thick of treatment, it’s hard not to just be in survival mode all of the time, but there are ways for you to feel better about your self-esteem and how you and your partner navigate it.
1. Recognize that carving even 5 minutes out of your day to just be with each other, free from distractions, will go a long way towards remembering that you are both in this together.
Try to set aside the stressors and feelings, and take time to greet one another intentionally- whether through holding hands, a warm embrace, or looking into one another’s eyes.
This conscious act can remind you, and your nervous system, that there are moments of quiet within the chaos of treatment.
Yes, we have to deal with the uncertainty that we’re facing, but also we can recognize that we are ok- even if it’s just for a moment.
2. There’s a lot of loss that comes with treatment, whether it’s the loss of your hair, the loss of your privacy, the loss of feeling safe and secure, and so on. This is a form of disenfranchised grief, and feeling it doesn’t mean that you’re not strong or grateful.
It’s important to be kind to yourself and your partner because you’re facing the four universal fears all at one time (the fear of dying, the fear of being alone, the fear of losing freedom, and the fear that life will lose its sense of meaning).
It’s ok if you’re struggling with that, which is why it’s so important to surround yourself with the people, the resources, and the providers who can support you and your partner through this time.
3. Take time to gently connect with your body, to take in what it’s going through, and sit with the temporary and permanent changes. This may be filled with a reckoning of how you’ve felt about your body, bringing up a lot of tender feelings.
Working through these feelings while also taking time to sit with how grateful we can feel will help you be more present with your body.
Updating your mental image to how you look now will also support you in coming to acceptance of where you are, giving you more energy to focus on what matters most.
4. Make room for microjoys, those sweet little moments in which we experience something that brings us joy. When I was going through treatment, I spent a lot of time noticing when I felt relatively ok. That helped me realize that my experience was variable, which was important.
5. Take time to notice what feels possible. This kind of mindfulness helps disrupt the anxious rumination because you are focusing on the here and now- not the future.
During chemo, I did what I could to continue my self-care activities, even if it meant spending a lot of time in a child’s pose during yoga class.
Margarita Sala – Sala Psychology
1. When negative thoughts about your body come up acknowledge them and then choose not to engage with them and focus your attention elsewhere.
2. Research has shown that practicing self-compassion can increase confidence. You can practice self-compassion via structured therapeutic exercises.
3. Remind yourself of all that your body is going through right now, and all the things that it can still do for you. Remind yourself of what your body has done for you.
4. Upgrade your body self-care during this difficult time. Perhaps this means putting on body lotion, a facial, a nice long relaxing bath.
5. Invest in a wig that makes you feel good. Wear clothes that make you feel good.
Nancy Landrum
I know two women who went through chemo and lost their hair. Both of them kept repeating things like, “I come from a family of strong women. My grandmother was a migrant worker in Central California. I can do this!”
One saw her husband with tears running down his cheeks as he shaved the last of the hair off of his beloved wife’s head. Both demonstrated enormous courage in facing what they had to do to beat cancer and both of them had husbands who were so loving and supportive.
I know that isn’t true for everyone suffering the side effects of chemo. One of the women’s cancer has remained in remission.
The other’s cancer returned after five years and she eventually died a few years ago. She loved the Dodgers baseball team. Just last week 13 members of her family, me included, went to a Dodger game in memory of her birthday.
I have a sister who worked with hospice as a grief therapist for several years. She told me horror stories about how the stress of a terminal illness often widened whatever cracks were in the marriage, to begin with.
Sometimes the treatment of a spouse for a terminally ill partner is very dismissive rather than caring and supportive. Others have received compassionate support from their husbands.
Coaching for the husbands: Do your best to be with her when she wants you to be. Listen with empathy when she is feeling insecure and in pain.
Help in whatever practical ways you know would mean the most to her. Keep the house and bathroom clean because she’s not going to feel like cleaning.
Do the laundry for yourself and her…fresh sheets feel so good when one has been sweaty and laying in bed. Accept others’ help with meals or rides. PLUS, take some time off for yourself.
Caretaking is exhausting! Don’t feel guilty if a friend can be with her while you play a round of golf, or something else that refreshes you. Tell her often how beautiful she is to you!
Laura Doyle
Fighting cancer is not only a physical battle but an emotional one as well, tearing at your confidence and self-identity. It’s no easy task from a medical standpoint and spiritually, it’s even more daunting.
Which is why your mindset is essential when facing such an incredible challenge. Remind yourself that what you focus on increases and do your best to switch to only positive things, the parts of your life that still make you smile.
Don’t forget to do things that bring you joy, like reading your favorite romance novels during chemotherapy. Nibble on that dark piece of chocolate afterwards – I mean, it has antioxidants, right?
It’s important to continue to do things that give you pleasure because that in itself, will “refill your cup” and increase your happiness.
Happiness glows from the inside out and makes you feel more confident naturally, which is important on hard days, like when your hair starts to fall out. You need this spiritual boost, especially when life feels like it is beating you up.
Doing things that make you happy may seem like a trivial task and initially, you may want to put it on the back burner, but this will help alleviate the emotional pain of your battle.
Consider it making daily deposits towards a better life, while cancer is trying to drain your bank account. Every little bit helps tremendously, like compound interest.
So create a list of the things that make you smile and bring you joy, then try and do three of them a day. Focus on the things you can control and you’ll feel more empowered.
Nothing is sexier than confidence and the easiest way to get it, especially if you feel devastated emotionally, is by doing things that balance out the bad with truckloads of goodness.
For example, are you worried about the change in the coloring or texture of your skin? Allow your partner to give you a mini facial at home.
Not only will it make you feel amazing, but the physical intimacy between the two of you will only deepen your bond. And a good moisturizer will have you glowing again in no time!
The important thing to remember is that this is temporary. Below are some more simple recommendations to feeling more confident while battling cancer.
1. Hydrate! Chemo or radiation will dry out your skin, hair and nails. Combat this by drinking a lot of water each day and apply a thick moisturizer.
I recommend using a cream that has little to no perfume to avoid irritating sensitive skin. Why is a moisturizer so important?
Well, dry skin creates creases and makes fine lines look more pronounced – this being one of the more common complaints and reasons why someone might avoid the mirror. And don’t forget your nail cuticles!
2. Decrease puffy-causing foods like salt, processed meats and dairy. I’m not saying you have to eliminate them but cut down the servings.
Instead, consume more foods and drinks that help with bloating – such as avocados, cucumber, berries, celery, ginger, bananas, oatmeal, apples and green tea.
More natural and whole foods will be easier to digest as well, giving you more energy and helping with tiredness.
3. Avoid heavy makeup and use a light mineral powder instead. Creams and liquid foundation pull at the skin when applying and unfortunately, since chemo can make your skin thinner, this creates deep valleys for makeup to settle in.
Select a more airy approach. Mineral powder will help dull skin appear brighter and many brands offer a built-in sunscreen.
It’s also easier to apply, which is important for the days you feel tired but still want to do a semblance of your routine.
4. Dress for your new body. Many patients lose weight during cancer treatment, while others are on drugs that can cause the body to hold onto extra fluid.
Select clothing that flows and are a bit loose-fitting compared to what you would normally wear. This provides both comfort and helps to hide areas that you feel a little insecure about.
Punch things up a notch by wearing bright colors and fun patterns. You don’t have to dress in drab clothes or try to hide your body. If you start to lose your hair, accessorize with cute scarves or wigs.
Think of this as an opportunity to play dress up and try new styles. It can be traumatic, especially if a large part of your identity is associated with your locks but remember hair grows back.
As simple as that adage is, take some comfort in knowing it is a fact, rather than a mere possibility. Your hair will grow back.
5. Be open about your feelings with your loved ones and definitely don’t hide your insecurities with your partner. True intimacy comes from being vulnerable, especially when it is not easy to be open about your emotions.
Lean on your partner and don’t hide what you are going through. A deeper connection and bond can be formed, as well as wider understanding of what is happening. Why is the latter so important?
Well, cancer treatments can cause you to forget things or make it difficult to concentrate – which can make you feel insane on top of the stress and anxiety of dealing with a cancer diagnosis.
It’s always reassuring that you are indeed, not losing your mind on top of everything else.
Sira Mas – The Truly Charming
Cancer treatment can have a major impact on a woman’s self-confidence and self-image.
Something that can really help a woman feel better about herself during chemotherapy is learning to use makeup to enhance her eyes and lips.
In particular, since with cancer treatment, the temporary loss of eyelashes is a frequent side-effect, using an eyeliner can really help enhance the eye area.
Also, one of the most common side effects of chemotherapy is your lips may become dry; using a good lip balm can help moisturize lips, and using a good lipstick can help give your lips an extra pop of colour.
Another habit that can really help a woman feel more confident during cancer treatment is wearing her favorite outfits, the ones that truly make her feel beautiful, and doing it every single day.
Katelyn Carey – Beauty After Breast Cancer
1. Be kind to yourself. It is easy to see the things you lost, but intentionally picking a script that focuses on your strengths instead of your losses can be helpful.
Example: when I was coaching new moms to breastfeed, I gave myself a script of “I would rather be there for my children than breastfeed them”.
This helped me to focus on how my sacrifice and scars meant I would be more likely to be there for my kids at their weddings and many years after, those years gained were worth the loss of months of breastfeeding.
2. Jennifer said, “I lost my hair, I lost my periods, and I lost my breasts. Aren’t those all the things that make me female? What am I now?”.
Jenn found a confidence boost by doing a henna crown on her head after chemo hair loss, and doing body paint that made a spectacular costume for halloween with her daughter that next year. Little things can help, find the things (fabrics, paint, etc) that make you feel beautiful and use those tools.
3. Laura stated she was “horrified” the first time she saw her scars, but she began a practice of gratitude, and began thanking her body for the sacrifices it made.
She began to think of her body “as my hero, returning from a war that it fought for my life”. She was slowly able to step from loss to pride and strength.
4. Toni and her husband had a conversation about “what would make you comfortable touching me again”? He was afraid he would hurt her.
They eventually designed a tattoo together that incorporated symbols from their relationship. It’s beautiful…she’s beautiful, and the whole process helped them both regain their intimacy.
Dr. Kathy Nickerson
Changes in your body as a result of treatment are distressing and can seriously shake your self-confidence.
Instead of focusing on the hair loss, nausea, sore mouth, or bruises, focus on the non-physical aspects of your character and personality that are wonderful.
Think about why your partner fell in love with you and why your friends adore you; has this part of your character changed as a result of treatment? I bet it is mostly the same!
As you look at your body, challenge yourself to look at yourself and say something positive, i.e., “My eyes still sparkle and my smile is lovely.”
When you can, try to see your physical changes as a badge of honor; you’re a soldier fighting a war and the best soldiers have the most scars.
And of course, make sure to ask your partner for the reassurance you crave. Partners often feel that they’re not doing enough to support their loved one during their battle, so help them know how to best help you.
Remember: you are more than the sum of your parts. You are lovable and valuable no matter what physical changes you’re experiencing.
Yuksel Sahin
There are many ways in which you can support your partner during such difficult moments. Recently I met a cancer patient with her fiancé, who had apparently arranged this appointment.
Clearly he was supporting his wife-to-be in not just words but in take-charge actions.
I first tended to the cancer/chemo treatment patient own hair, underneath a scarf which she had worn into the salon, which I could see had fallen out in various clumps in different parts of her head.
Next was the wig‘s makeover. It was “off-the-shelf” and i consulted with the client as to her personal style hair preferences.
Then I carefully trimmed/styled the wig, while it was on her head. And then she smiled. Her fiancé was by her side the entire time. They left the salon, holding hands.
Debbie Rivers
Going through cancer is bad enough without having worry about how you look and worrying about how your partner feels about that.
It can be harder to feel good about yourself when you are not well and so doing where you can to feel better about yourself will help.
There are often wonderful services that specialise patients going through cancer and their whole goal is making sure you look and feel better. They cover hair, make-up, skincare, etc.
Here are a few simple tips to feel more confident:
1. Hair
You may not have been brave enough in the past to cut your hair off. I know that it is easy to hang on to a hair style you have always had but in my experience the older we get there are often more flattering options.
In fact, being stuck with the same hair styles is one of the biggest agers! If you are losing your hair or its thinning you have the perfect opportunity to take bold steps!
Take advantage of the opportunity to experiment and try things you might not have risked before! You can play with colour and short bold cuts.
Or have fun playing with different styles of wigs!You might be surprised just how much you enjoy your new look!
2. Weight loss or gain
Cancer often affects your weight and the clothes you have may no longer flatter your new body shape.
Don’t just put up with the clothes that don’t fit well or that when you wear them you don’t feel good. Time to go shopping for an updated look. Again, have fun experimenting with different styles.
3. Skin
Cancer treatments are harsh on your skin and you may find it ends up red and blotchy. There are plenty of skin calming treatments and you can also use green colour corrector to counteract the red.
4. Eeylashes and eyebrows
You may lose or have thinning eyelashes and eyebrows. There are plenty of products that will help you fix this.
Eyebrow pencils are great if you have lost your brows, there are temporary or even permanent tattoos. For your eyelashes you can get eyelash extensions or even magnetic fake eyelashes work a treat.
5. Nails
You may find your nails start to break or split. Keep them short and use some strengthening nail polish.
Finally, it may sound cliché but beauty is more than skin deep and often at difficult times your inner beauty and strength will shine brightly.
It is so much more beautiful than what is on the outside and your partner will see that.
Kimberly Schaffer – Attentive Psychotherapy
Initially, it can be a shock to view yourself in the mirror after cancer treatment. Your body may not feel or look like your own. It may seem as though a stranger is looking back at you in the mirror.
It takes time to get to know yourself again. You have been fighting for your life and this has taken all of your energy. Your partner has been by your side and helped you through some of your most difficult moments.
It can be difficult to reconnect with your partner when you feel insecure about your appearance.
Try to reconnect with your body first. Find clothing with fabrics that are comfortable and designs you find appealing. Look at your body and scars even though they may feel uncomfortable.
Over time, you will recognize yourself again and realize the courage and strength you have, which is the true definition of beauty.
The best way to feel confident in your body while battling cancer is to acknowledge that you are a fighter. Women are not frequently portrayed as warriors, so our minds do not always go there, but they should.
You can be beautiful, strong, and courageous while accepting that many of the side effects you see on the outside are temporary.
Although they are temporary, these side effects can be quite upsetting. Try to remember hair tends to grow back, wounds start to heal, and swelling dissipates.
Your partner was there for you throughout treatment and they love you for who you are as a person.
Jessica Brohmer – LMFT
Comparison is the biggest obstacle to confidence. And that includes comparing your current body to the way it used to be, look, or feel.
It’s hard to look in the mirror and see yourself without hair, with big scars, without breasts, or with radiation tattoos. Even when your hair grows back, it often comes in a new color and texture.
The way to fight comparison is through acceptance. Your body is the way it is, and it won’t change back just through regret.
Acceptance is hard to face because it means looking at your body just the way it is and choosing to let go of your old hair, your scar-free body, and your old figure.
Gratitude helps you on the way to acceptance. Maybe your hair is gone, but you can choose to express gratitude to the friend who gave you a beautiful headscarf.
Or maybe your body now has permanent scars, but those can be reframed as signs of your strength as you fight the battle against cancer.
Losing breasts can feel like losing your outward femininity, but you can look for other ways to express your womanhood that are also true to who you are.
Relationships are more difficult. It’s one thing to look in the mirror and feel disappointed in your new body, but it is devastating to hear that your partner (who isn’t even going through cancer!) is also struggling with your appearance.
You want your partner to be supportive, but after hearing about all the women who were abandoned in the middle of treatment (20%!), it’s tempting to settle for a partner who only grumbles from time to time. But getting your confidence back might mean confronting a partner who’s too critical.
You can’t do the work of rebuilding your self-esteem when the person who’s supposed to be closest to you is tearing it down at the same time.
Tina Marie Del Rosario – Healing Collective Therapy
Hair and weight loss and overall changes in general appearance is a significant challenge to our self-esteem.
During these challenging times, it is important to focus on the deeper connection you have with your partner and recognize what your partner values in you.
Having conversations with your partner about what they see in you besides aesthetics can be helpful.
Although it is difficult to refrain the internal narrative associated with self-esteem, embracing and leaning into all that your
Sam Holmes – Feel and Thrive
As a woman, your self-esteem is strongly intertwined with how you see yourself in the mirror. Going through major physical changes can leave you feeling insecure and unworthy of love.
These feelings can negatively impact your mental health and threaten the foundation of your relationship with your partner.
The best way to feel confident is to practice self-compassion.
Self-compassion takes a different approach from traditional efforts to raise self-esteem and self-confidence. Instead of looking outward for validation, self-compassion is a way of relating to yourself.
While self-esteem is about how good you feel about yourself in relation to others’ opinions of you or how you evaluate yourself against others, self-compassion is accepting, loving, and forgiving yourself when you’re faced with difficult circumstances.
Research shows that self-compassion is associated with greater and more consistent feelings of self-confidence and self-worth. This is because self-compassion isn’t dependent on external factors like physical appearance.
Aim to be kind to yourself. Don’t be harsh or self-critical as you’re undergoing treatment, experiencing side effects, and undergoing physical changes.
Strive to treat yourself as you would a dear friend going through the same situation. This shift in mindset will also allow you to be more confident in your partner.
You’ll be able to take them on their word that they love you and are there to support you. You won’t second guess their actions or allow insecurity to cloud your judgment.
Claudia Cox – Text Weapon
One of the best ways to remain confident and comfortable in your relationship is to focus on self-care and things that are within your control.
Speak to your healthcare provider about opportunities to stay active – for example download a new yoga app and try a class together or ask your partner to join you for a romantic walk and spend an afternoon together lost in nature.
Besides the opportunity to experience something uplifting together, movement may improve your mood, give you strength and make you feel more empowered.
Another way to remain confident is to be very in tune with your self-talk and the way your partner speaks about your struggles. Be open with your partner about any insecurities you may have. Communication is key.
If your partner is making comments that upset you, let them know. Now is the time to treat yourself with compassion, the same way you would treat a loved one going through a similar circumstance.
This means that you should be clear about which social activities you are comfortable participating in and which activities you need to skip (at least for now).
Drake Ballew – Practice Health
Try to remember that your partner loves you for who you are, not your outward appearance.
Even if your appearance changes due to chemotherapy, you are still the same person your partner fell in love with.
Of course, it can be stressful and upsetting to have no control over such things as hair loss, weight loss, or other changes to how you look and feel.
The best thing a partner can do is to continue to treat you with care and compassion, and to help you realize that you are still attractive to them.
Indigo Stray Conger – Mile High Psychotherapy
The two most common treatments for cancer (chemo and rad